Toni Morrisons brilliant approach to work-life balance

Toni Morrisons brilliant approach to work-life balanceToni Morrisons brilliant approach to work-life balanceWriter Toni Morrison won the Nobel Prize in 1993, and she worked hard to get there, starting by cleaning houses when she was a child. The experience taught her a lot about putting work in its place, which she wrote about in arecent piece in The New Yorker. Morrisons brief essay discusses her fathers way of encuraging her to keep her priorities straight and made sure her supportive home life was the center of her world. Its a necessary read in our workaholic era in which vacation days are rare and work martyrdom is rife.Youre either working on your own dream, or someone elsesMorrisons essay illustrates how important it is to stay grounded in your self-worth, and to remember what you bring to the table when things get tough for you in the working world.She recalls her experiences cleaning a womans house to earn money for herself and her mom as a child in the 1940s.Morrison enjoye d making money for herself, but mora so because ofhow she could help her parents out The pleasure of being necessary to my parents was profound. I was bedrngnis like the children in folktales burdensome mouths to feed, nuisances to be corrected, problems so severe that they were abandoned to the forest, shewrote, also mentioning that the affirming gestures from the grownupsseemed to say that she was adultlike.But as she improved, the housework got harder, and even though she wanted to say something to the woman,she wasscared of being let go.Indirectly citing thework martyrconcept, Morrison told her dad about the issues she had getting the work done one day when they were in the kitchen.In a moment of tough love, he said,Listen. You dont live there. You live here. With your people. Go to work. Get your money. And come on home.Morrison went on to present what his words meant to her in a numbered list, but the points can also be backed up by research.Commit to self-improvementThe first message Morrison got from her dads words was Whatever the work is, do it well- not for the anfhrer but for yourself.This applies to tackling new skills for personal gain.Heidi Grant Halvorson, a motivational psychologist and author of the HBR Single Nine Things Successful People Do Differently, told the Harvard Business Review about identifying the learning style that best suits you in a 2012 article about nailing a new skill.Reflect on some of your past learning experiences, and make a list of good ones and another list of bad onesWhat did the good, effective experiences have in common? How about the bad ones? Identifying common strands can help you determine the learning environment that works best for you, she told the publication.More importantly, external pressure will never push you as much as your own desire for growth and purpose. As musician Pharrell put it in a recent speech, dont do things for the applause.Your workis not your entire identityThe second message Morrison g ot from her dads words was You make the job it doesnt make you. The fourth message Morrison got from her dads words was You are not the work you do you are the person you are.But these two go hand in hand- you are bigger than your job, but as easy as it is to think thatyour job truly defines you, theres a whole lot more to you than what goes onfrom 9 to 5. More importantly, if you want to get succeed, you have to see your own worth as determined by something other than your performance reviews, your raises, or encouragement from colleagues.Gallup reported in 2014 found that 55% of Americans said they get a sense of identity from their job, compared to 42% who said their work is simply something they do to make money.But this concept wasnt new in 2014- the organization added thatthese results have been consistent throughout multiple Gallup polls since 1989.So no matter how hectic things get for you in the office, stay grounded by thinking about who you are, what you want, and what makes you unique. Jobs come and go, even the great ones, but our spouses, kids, parents and friends arent going to remember us by our excellent meeting memos or slick PowerPoints.Create a life outside workThe third message Morrison got from her dads words was Your real life is with us, your family.Dont confuse your day job for your whole life- remember what people who mean a lot to youbring to your experiences outside of work, and try to draw a boundary separating work life from home life as much as possible.A 2015 international EY surveyof people in eight countries found that 33% of respondents reported that managing work and family life got tougher over the previous five years.Two of the top five reasons were 49% of participants reporting that my salary has not increased much, but my expenses have and 48% of them reporting that my responsibilities at work have increased. Other factors were an increase of things to manage at home, having one or more kids, and clocking in more hour s.Yet, as work demands more of us, we have to find ways to retain our own sanity - not just after work, but during it. Use lunch breaks to connect with colleagues, sure, but also try to touch base with family or friends during that time, in texts or emails. Make future social plans during 15-minute breaks through the day instead of bouncing around social media. Schedule picnics, concerts, and activities that make your time off richer than a few more hours on the couch. The more you have a sense of yourself within your family and community, the less youll depend on work to give you everything. Thats clearly advice that has served Morrison - one of the most talented and successful American writers - well.